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The morel of the story

1 March 2010 627 views No Comment BY Stacey Muncie

To the uninitiated, mushroom hunting is a scary proposition. We’ve all heard about people dying from ingesting poisonous mushrooms, right? Folks from other parts of the country, or even from a bigger city are sometimes afraid to eat wild morels. The doubters ask things like, “Well, how do you know it’s not poisonous?” We know, OK? Like our fathers before us, we have been raised to know the difference, we’ve done it all our lives, and lived to tell about it. Indeed, I have taken my own daughter mushroom hunting since she was a toddler, and I have no worries that she will pick a poisonous mushroom. The big secret here is that there really aren’t any poisonous mushrooms in these parts that bear any real resemblance to our precious morels. If you’re careless enough to run around the woods scarfing down every fungus you see, then yes, you might end up sick. But pay any attention at all to what we’ve shown you a morel looks like, and you’re in no danger.

Of course, that is provided that you newbies have had the good fortune to have a charitable native person take you mushroom hunting. Because family mushroom patches are closely guarded secrets. You don’t tell anybody — anybody — where your patch is, and furthermore, you don’t ask anybody where their patch is, either. To do so would be not only a breach of etiquette, but also an exercise in futility. However, if you’re lucky you may still be invited to go mushroom hunting, mainly because we’re convinced that you could never find your way back to our patch, nor recognize it if you did.

While most folks head out to the boondocks to hunt for mushrooms, my dad used to regularly find them all over town, often in tree rows, or growing near old stumps. To this day, Dad finds mushrooms when no one else does Each spring, his side of the family gathers at my aunt and uncle’s house near Marshall for a big get-together. The festivities include food, fishing, and of course, mushroom hunting. While Aunt Phyllis tries to plan this for the optimum mushroom hunting weekend of the year, weather sometimes does not work in our favor, and no one finds any mushrooms. Except for my dad. He’s like the fungus whisperer or something, and he always finds at least a few.

On the occasions that I’ve missed the family mushroom hunt, the aunts, uncles and cousins always seem to report that I’ve missed a bumper crop, claiming, “We found bread bags full” (bread bags, of course, being the traditional mushroom hunter’s receptacle) and rubbing it in with remarks like, “We had so many, we couldn’t eat them all — we ended up throwing some away.” Whether this is true or not is hard to know, but for the record I think it’s a shame to ever throw away morels when there are starving people all over the world, as well as mushroom-loving relatives in the Haute, who’d be happy to have them.

Around here, there are four types of morels. Black morels are medium-sized and very difficult to spot because their color allows them to easily blend into the leaves. Gray morels are usually smaller, and also more dense, which makes for better eating quality. Yellow morels grow larger. The giant mushroom you saw pictured in the newspaper last year was likely a yellow morel. Last but not least, we have the morel which is commonly known by a rather crass name which, while it adequately describes the appearance of said ‘shroom, is probably best left out of a G-rated food column.

The cleaning method for all of these varieties is the same, and it is essential, because, believe it or not, there are bugs living in these woodland delicacies. First, the mushrooms are split in half lengthwise and placed in a bowl. Cold water and a generous amount of salt are then added, and the mushrooms are allowed to soak. Soon, the inhabitants of the mushrooms will abandon each fungal Titanic and float helplessly on the surface of the water. After a while, you will want to drain the morels and repeat this exercise. I do mine at least 3 times, but whether or not you need to depends upon how buggy your mushrooms are, and how tolerant you are of the added protein. When the final soak has been completed, lay the morels out in a single layer, on a towel or paper towel and pat dry.

The traditional method of cooking morels is to dredge them in flour and then pan fry until golden brown, crispy on the outside and chewy on the inside, in butter. It’s hard to beat, and most folks just stick with that preparation, but if you’ve got some extra morels, perhaps bread bags full, you might want to try the recipe on the right.

Morel Tarts
1 8-oz pkg. cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup butter, softened
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups morels, cleaned and chopped
1/2 cup chopped onion
3 Tbsp butter
1/4 cup sour cream
2 Tbsp all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp salt
Pepper, to taste
1/8 tsp dried rosemary, crushed

In a large mixing bowl, beat together cream cheese and ½ cup butter with an electric mixer on medium to high until smooth. Add 1½ cups flour and beat on low speed until combined. Cover and chill for at least 1 hour.
Meanwhile, in a large skillet, cook onion in 3 tablespoons butter over medium heat until tender. Add mushrooms. Cook and stir for 3 to 5 minutes or until liquid is nearly evaporated. Remove from heat.
In a small bowl, stir together sour cream, 2 tablespoons flour, 1/4 teaspoon salt, pepper, and rosemary until combined. Stir sour cream mixture into mushroom mixture.
On a floured surface, roll dough to 1/8 inch thickness. Using a round cookie cutter, or biscuit cutter, cut dough into 40 circles (this number will vary, depending on the size of your cutter—mine is 2 ¼ inches), rerolling the dough as necessary. With a knife, cut a small X in the centers of half of the rounds to let the steam escape during baking.
Place the uncut half of the circles on an ungreased baking sheet. Place about 2 teaspoons of the filling in the center of each. Moisten edges of filled pastry with a little water. Top with the remaining circles and crimp edges together with a fork.
Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes or until pastry is golden brown. Serve warm.